People keep saying to me, "You're so strong, I envy you." First of all, thank you for that.
But I wasn't always like that. If what I experienced in 2021 had happened to me seven or eight years ago, I probably would have thrown in the towel and, figuratively speaking, "run away screaming." In the summer of 2017, however, I first came across the mental coach training program, and I began to delve deeper into it. In July 2018, I was finally able to begin.
And that definitely had a positive impact on my life. I've found my way to center myself. The path there wasn't and isn't easy, straight, or otherwise super-smooth. We live in a time where the focus is primarily on what we can't do. What we can do isn't valued or pushed into the background. There was a lot for me to learn. Each and every one of us can immediately list things we're not good at. But how many things can we think of right off the top of our heads that we're good at?
From an early age, we're forced to accept beliefs that stay with us throughout our lives. There are both good and bad ones. It's easy to say, "I'm too stupid for this," but how often do we say to ourselves with deep conviction and sincerity, "I'm fine the way I am?"
It was only through the many methods and by trying them out during my training that I found my way out of the negative spiral. I was focused on the past, thought a lot of things were crap, but didn't change anything. Only in the last few years have I turned my attention to the future. Because I can't change the past. I live in the present and thus influence my future. That doesn't mean I forget the past. I enjoy reminiscing, talking to friends about what it was like back then. Nevertheless, I'm looking forward.
Yes, I still have my infamous temper tantrums. Otherwise, it would be boring. But if I doubt myself one day, I remind myself of what I've already achieved and what the people around me appreciate about me. Both during my training and in one of our recent team meetings, we did the exercise "I like you because...". Everyone has a piece of paper on their back, and everyone writes something positive on it. First, it's a lot of fun; second, you really have to engage with the person behind the piece of paper; and third, you gain a lot of appreciation for yourself. I treasure these two pieces of paper, my light in darker times.
I now know what I'm good at, and I enjoy doing it. I keep things that burden me and people who drag me down away from me as best I can. It's not always avoidable; you have to be realistic about that. If you choose and maintain a positive aura, you're no longer as interesting to negative people.
Negative people have a problem for every solution. They prefer to dwell on the past, complain about others, and find everything awful and terrible. Murphy's Law says hello. That's who I used to be, and I don't want to be anymore. Yes, sometimes I gossip, and I let others infect me. But that quickly disappears for me. I'm not in the mood for it; I'd rather enjoy life. Not my circus, not my monkeys.
This energy and positive attitude make me strong. I don't really care about my weaknesses.
You can learn to be strong, to be in the here and now, and to look forward. It doesn't happen overnight. Sometimes it will hurt inside to confront why you are the way you are. But that's exactly what's necessary to change direction. Only when you know where it comes from can you put it behind you and start anew for yourself. Without running away. After all, we can only change ourselves, not others.
